My mom and I went shopping. Saturday. The one day of the week when most of the local workforce stream to the shops to get the stuff on their lists. That seems to be the way of things, in our town anyway. Sure, we dart in during the week, after work, to grab necessities, but we leave the more time-consuming things for . . . the weekend. And that’s when navigating the stores becomes a challenge. It takes some pretty nifty maneuvering!
I wish I could find some of the boys (and girls?) who so expertly advise the retail stores on how to utilise space and optimise sales. I want to ask them – what were you thinking?! The aisles between the shelves are barely wide enough to allow for two-way traffic. Where did this new trend, to put huge, promotional-item bins between the checkout point and the shelves, come from?
I’m wondering if the idea is to regulate traffic? You don’t want too many people at the checkout points at any one time? You don’t believe that people should be allowed to shop in five minutes, flat? Since not everyone get regular exercise, you thought it’d be a great workout for seldom used muscles and help with the general fitness level of the customers?
The exercise thing probably has some merit, especially when one comes to the end of the aisle, on the checkout side, and there are a lot of customers waiting to pay. One can hardly mow them over to reach the next aisle!, and with the other half of your aisle occupied . .. hmmm. Cue the music please, and let’s get this workout started!
1. Twist your upper body about 45 degrees.
2. Turn your head to the back – stretch it, stre-etch it. Careful now, keep those shoulders angled! You don’t want to get stuck, looking behind you.
3. Use your voice muscles (a.k.a. vocal cords) and kindly ask the people behind and to the side of you to give you a gap.
4. Now keep that head loose, work those muscles as you do a three-point . . . oh, make that a four. . . nope, better make that a five-point turn! Don’t feel bad if you need a few more points to complete the turn.
5. Plant one foot firmly on the shiny tiles for some leverage.
6. Let’s get the arm muscles working! Push on one side of the trolley, and pull on the other side. You’ll feel it when you have to do this after almost reaching the end of your shopping list!
7. Don’t forget to tighten the tummy muscles! You don’t want to walk out of here with a sore back.
8. Move your hips! Step to the side, shuffle a little, step to the back, step to the front; okay, repeat as often as necessary to complete the turn.
9. Now, when you see a gap, zig-zag your way through your fellow shoppers. Speed up your pace, a good trot won’t be wasted.