always wondered what (how) men think . . .

When I heard this on the radio last year, I found it very amusing. A male announcer, or “jock” as they call them, read it (unfortunately I can’t remember his name), and I think that made it even funnier.  Ladies, I would like to share with you this little “insight” into the male-mind, all credit to the source (Algoa FM).

“The Rules”: A man’s perspective

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules:

Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE AS THEY ARE ALL THE ONE GOLDEN RULE

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

I imagine this list grows during the Rugby World Cup season.

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4 thoughts on “always wondered what (how) men think . . .

  1. Laugh out loud funny! I really appreciated it! I see things a whole different way regarding the “way men think” while being here in Africa, 8,000 miles away from home. I do see similar things in this culture here as well…how humorous!

    • Glad it made you laugh, Mac! 🙂

      Since these rules (or RULE, since all are 1) were compiled by a group of South African men, I did wonder if they speak for all men around the world.

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