It is scary, and somewhat depressing, when I think how easily I put aside the things I enjoy when life gets a little more challenging. That shouldn’t happen, should it?!
These past weeks found me stressed, consumed by thoughts of work and doom, and what did I do? I forgot to make time for the things that free my thoughts and release my stress! Instead of reading the blogs I like to follow, I sighed and went into zombie-mode in front of the TV. Instead of writing something, I sighed and thought of not thinking about work. Instead of going out with my camera for an honest to goodness photo-walk, I sighed, sat down in front of the TV, and snacked. Everything I usually enjoy just seemed to warrant a lot of effort, energy and commitment.
Somehow, while doing the zombie-thing, I sat down at my PC one day. A memory stirred of a time (can it be two years ago already?!) when I thought nothing of spending endless hours getting lost in my favorite on-line MMORPG. It was a sad day when that server closed down. I was forced to search for another game. Not an easy feat, even if there are hundreds (if not thousands) of them available. One came highly recommended and I tried it out for a few hours. It was just too . . . graphic intensive. It hurt my eyes. I gave it up.
My mom has been trying to get me back into gaming for ages. She got used to the new game, made some friends who showed her the ropes. Still, I wasn’t tempted. I moved on to the worlds of blogging and amateur photography instead. Enter Real Life, and 2+ months later I’m reflecting . . .
I might have been a little desperate (who knows? Zombie-me was still very much present) to actually consider going back to gaming. Especially going back to the game that worked on my nerves and made me quit it last time! Okay, in all fairness – the game didn’t make me do anything. I was probably just ready for a change. It happens. Anyhow, I resisted for another few days while wasting bandwidth on three other games that looked interesting. And what do you know – they were all seriously . . . um . . . colored. Bright colors! In your face colors! And graphic. Waaay too much detail!
Note. I’m not a serious gamer. I spend most of my days in front of a PC and the last thing I want to do at home is put more strain on my eyes. So I downloaded that irksome game from a different server. It was not as I remembered it. The colors weren’t as bright, the avatars not so. . . so . . . weird! I gave it a try. Again.
At first, I couldn’t handle being on Arcan (the game-world) for more than 15 minutes a day. It gave me some kind of purpose though. A different one. It was not a duty, it was a choice. Where I previously avoided my PC at home, I now went to it in the early mornings. I’d start the game and escape into my avatar’s world, where she has battles of her own to fight, for a few minutes.
As the days went by I slowly managed to handle the heavy load that is RLR (real life responsibility). Every day things improved. Instead of coming to a dead stop at, what felt like, a brick wall and having those bricks fall on me, I started to think, plan and take action again. I started to take an interest again in blog-world, and am actually writing a post!
The time I spend with my avatar/s are reaching the 2hr mark some days. I’m careful not to overdo it. I’m careful not to commit too much in game-world. I am not a serious gamer.
I realise that most, if not all, of my readers may not be interested in gaming so I won’t go on about it too much. If, however, you are interested to know what game I’m playing and how come I find it a good “de-stresser”, please leave a comment.